Sometimes it goes seamlessly, and it's beautiful. And sometimes forming that connection is genuinely hard — harder than anyone at the agency prepared you for, and harder than you feel allowed to say.
There's a phrase in this work: goodness of fit — how well a child's temperament fits the family they're in. Every parent hopes their child will feel familiar. In adoption and foster care, without the biological piece, a child's wiring can feel like a mystery: their behaviors aren't like yours, your approach that worked before doesn't work now, and you're exhausted in a way that starts to feel like failure. It isn't failure. And it doesn't mean you don't love them as your own — it means you're carrying something real that deserves real support.
Some parents whisper it in Lauri's office: "I love my adopted child — but it's been harder to love their behaviors than my biological kids', and I don't want them to ever know I feel that way." If you've had a version of that thought, you are not a bad parent. You're an honest one, in a hard situation, and this is exactly the room where that can be said and worked with — without judgment, and without your child carrying it.
Early is ideal — at placement, even before challenges show up, so your family has someone who already knows you when a hard stage hits. Lauri sees it as precautionary, not crisis-only: "I think forming that therapeutic connection now can be really valuable for when the child gets older." But there's no too-late, either. If you're years in and something isn't working, that's a fine time too.
Much of Lauri's nine years of clinical experience has been with adoption and foster care. She's endorsed in infant and early childhood mental health and works with kids under 12 and their families — always together.
Openings now
"We just got placed and I want to start right" is enough. So is "it's been two years and something's not clicking." Lauri's promise: "I don't ever want to waste your time, money, or energy" — sometimes a session or two is exactly the right amount.
Book a Free 15-Minute Consultor send Lauri a message · call/text (414) 677-7948