Intentional Divorce

We spend so much money, so much time, and so much energy around the ritual of getting married. You get engaged, you plan for a year. You get ring and gifts and parties, lots of parties. There are so much energy and thought surrounding it and the rituals. There is the big wedding and you spend thousands of dollars. And when you get divorced, you show up for court and you look at each other, and the judge says “ok bye” then you go home? There is nothing, it is so disappointing…

So, the idea of creating some kind of goodbye ritual for closure, even if it is just yourself is really important.

You and your ex-partner can decide if you want to do this in person, write each other a letter, or do some parts together, some parts alone. Here are some tips that will be helpful in navigating the next chapter in your life.

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Gottman Bringing Baby Home Program

What is the Bringing Baby Home Program about?

Even the strongest relationships are strained during the transition to parenthood. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework and new fiscal concerns can lead to profound stress and a decline in marital satisfaction – all of which affect baby’s care. Not surprisingly, 69% of new parents experience conflict, disappointment and hurt feelings. each shows that within 3 years after birth of a child, approximately 2/3 of couples experience a significant drop in the quality of their relationship and have a dramatic increase in conflict and hostility (Gottman).Our research-based Bringing Baby Home workshops prepare couples for life with baby and helps them be the best parenting team possible. In a relaxed and supportive environment, parents learn to strengthen their relationship and foster baby’s development during this challenging time. They build on what Dr. Gottman and colleagues found is the best predictor of marital adjustment after baby arrives: the quality of friendship in the marriage.

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Gottman Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

About The Gottman Seven Principles Program for Couples

This program is based upon Dr. Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Straightforward in its approach yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this groundbreaking book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. For over 30 years Dr. Gottman scientifically analyzed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behaviors that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship.

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10 tips to help get your anger under control

  1. Take a 'timeout.' Although it may seem cliché, counting to 10 before reacting really can defuse your temper.
  2. Get some space. Take a break from the person you're angry with until your frustrations subside a bit.
  3. Once you're calm, express your anger. It's healthy to express your frustration in a non-confrontational way. Stewing about it can make the situation worse.
  4. Get some exercise. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
  5. Think carefully before you say anything. Otherwise, you're likely to say something you'll regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues. When you're angry, it's easy to get sidetracked.
  6. Identify solutions to the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand.
  7. Use 'I' statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticizing or placing blame, which can make the other person angry or resentful — and increase tension. For instance, say, "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework."
  8. Don't hold a grudge. If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
  9. Use humor to release tensions. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's can hurt feelings and make things worse.
  10. Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "Take it easy." Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga.


Often referred to as the winter blues, seasonal affective disorder is sub-set of depression that 10 millions Americans are suffering with. Living here in Midwest we are more susceptible to this disorder and need to keep a watchful eye on our winter time moods. Wisconsinites are 6 times more likely to encounter S.A.D than Floridians. This disorder usually starts in late fall or early winter and goes into remission in late spring or early summer. Women are four times as likely to be diagnosed with S.A.D, a disorder that usually is first seen between the ages of 25-35.

Many of us struggle with our mood during the winter months often times feeling a malaise, weight gain and the feeling of being trapped or isolated. These symptoms, however, do not rise to the level of S.A.D. Those suffering with seasonal affective disorder have the bulk of the following symptoms: lethargy, overeating (often a craving for carbohydrates, sweets), feelings of hopelessness or sadness, drop in energy level, irritability, social isolation, decreased physical activity, difficulty concentrating and at times thoughts of suicide.

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