When "Good Enough" Never Is

She redoes the essay at midnight because one paragraph "sounds dumb." She cries over the A-minus, not the A. She'd rather not turn something in at all than turn in something that isn't perfect. From the outside, she's the one who has it all together. Inside, she's exhausted from a voice that never says done.

Perfectionism isn't a personality quirk or a humble-brag interview answer. It's a fear pattern — the belief that being loved, chosen, or okay depends on never messing up. And it's costing her sleep, friendships, and the ability to enjoy anything she achieves.

Who this is for

This work is for teen girls and young adult women who:

  • Procrastinate on things that matter — because starting means possibly failing
  • Replay conversations and re-read texts, scanning for what they got wrong
  • Feel like every accomplishment just raises the bar instead of counting
  • Melt down (or shut down) over small mistakes, criticism, or a grade
  • Say "I'm fine" automatically, because needing help feels like failing too

If you're a parent reading this: you may have a daughter who seems driven and mature, but who falls apart privately over things that "shouldn't" be a big deal. That gap between how she performs and how she feels is exactly what this therapy addresses.

How therapy helps

Lizzy's home base is ACT — acceptance and commitment therapy — which in plain English means this: the goal isn't to delete the anxious, self-critical thoughts. It's to change your relationship with them, so they stop running the show. Perfectionism says you can't feel okay until everything is perfect. ACT says you can feel the discomfort and still do the thing that matters to you — and teaches you how, step by step.

The other half of the work is values: figuring out what you actually care about, underneath what teachers, parents, coaches, and the group chat expect. Perfectionism and people-pleasing are usually the same knot — performing for a standard someone else set. Untangling it starts with asking whose standard it is.

Lizzy checks in constantly — "is this landing for you?" — and adjusts. As she puts it: there's always another way to go. Growth should feel approachable, not scary.

For teens, parents are included the way the work needs — informed and involved, while sessions stay a place your daughter can be honest without an audience.

What changes

Clients describe it like putting down something heavy they didn't realize they were carrying. Homework still gets done — without the 1 a.m. rewrite. A B+ becomes information, not an identity crisis. Trying new things gets easier, because failing at them is no longer catastrophic. The bar stops moving every time she reaches it.

Meet your therapist

Lizzy Malchow, MS, LPC-IT, perfectionism therapist for teens and young women in Milwaukee

Lizzy Malchow, MS, LPC-IT

Works with teens and young adult women navigating perfectionism, anxiety, people-pleasing, and identity development. She's especially good with the ones who are used to being the easy kid, the strong friend, the one nobody worries about. Lizzy has been on the client side of therapy herself — she became a therapist to be the fit she couldn't find, and she takes finding your fit seriously.

Openings now

In person in Milwaukee, online across Wisconsin and Colorado.

Meet Lizzy →

Start with a free 15-minute consultation.

No commitment — just a conversation about what's going on and whether Lizzy is the right fit. You'll leave the call knowing your next step, whatever you decide.

Get Started

or send Lizzy a message · call/text (414) 677-7948

Book Your Free 15-Minute Consultation